After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
