doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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