You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
