I think my vagina is haunted
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
