We won't sleep together?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
