You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
