her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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