Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
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There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear