I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
