i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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