Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
