We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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