I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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