Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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