Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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