I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
