Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
