Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
