I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
