do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
