White coat. Heels.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
