Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
