Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
