I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
