sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
