It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize