I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
