Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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