end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
