my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
