i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
