I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
