if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize