Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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