sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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