Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
