toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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