out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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