p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
