We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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