i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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