Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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