Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
