I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
