These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize