i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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