oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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