Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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