did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
