Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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