So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
