Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
