You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't turn off my feet"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
