The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize