I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
