Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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